


A New More

by Briski



Category: As the World Turns RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-08
Updated: 2011-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:17:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briski/pseuds/Briski





	A New More

“Will you stop fidgeting already? God.” Jake's hand came down firmly on Van's thigh, as he looked at him with an exasperated look. Van pouted.

“Sorry. I'm just fucking ready to get going. Damn, I hate layovers.” Their flight had been delayed, and they'd been at the airport for 4 hours. While Jake kept busy writing, and catching up on work on his laptop, Van found the waiting unbearable. He'd browsed through all the shops, checked his Facebook several times, and eaten a far too unhealthy meal. He slumped against the leather chair, and sighed, closing his eyes. Maybe he could take a nap. After several long minutes, he realized that really wasn't going to happen. He'd flown a lot in the past few years, but he still felt a touch of anxiety before every trip that made his heart race just a little. He sighed, and stood up, walking slowly to the large window that looked over the tarmac. It was dusk outside. It had been a mild summer day in New York, and Van felt a tinge of sadness that he would not be here tomorrow. He would be in hot, sticky, smoggy Los Angeles. At least he would be with Jake. Being with Jake was the easiest, and hardest thing in the world, all wrapped into one. Van loved Jake. Loved him, wanted him, needed him. It started out as a mild crush. It originated with something like when you're a child, and you tell your friend that you like like someone. It developed into more. And Jake was so accommodating, so affable, so oblivious and so fucking flirty.

Van was sure he didn't even know he was doing it most of the time. He didn't know that it made Van's heart flutter when he brushed against him. He didn't know that his fucking voice killed him. That when he said his name; just said “Van” in his low, smooth voice that he pushed Van over the edge.

As if on cue, Van felt arms encircle his waist. Jake's tall, firm body pressed against his from behind; his chin coming to rest on Van's shoulder. “What are you thinking about? Sorry I snapped at you.” His voice was low, and Van felt it vibrate through his body. He sighed. Things like this. Who did this? Certainly none of his other straight guy friends. He had to know what he was doing. Van shrugged.

“Nothing really. I'm just tired of being here. I wish I was at home in my own bed. Or at least in a bed somewhere. I hate flying overnight.” He rubbed at his eyes. They burned with tiredness. Jake released him. He ached, and was thankful at the same time.

“We're supposed to be boarding in a few minutes. Hopefully you can sleep on the plane. That's what I'm going to try to do.” Jake ran his fingers through his hair, and returned to his seat.

Sure enough, a few minutes later they were boarding. Van stared enviously as they passed first class. He might be able to sleep if he was seated there. He always chose seats near the back of the plane. He and Jake had learned on Mythbusters that those were the safest ones. Jake let Van have the window, and selflessly took the middle seat. Van pulled up the hood on his sweatshirt. He liked to fly in his comfiest clothes. He was wearing his most worn in pair of jeans, a dark red hoodie and flipflops. He rested his head against the window and stared at Jake. Jake always looked like he was ready to do a photoshoot. Pristine Nikes were on his feet, and worn in jeans hung from his hips, though Van was sure they were still designer. His shirt was simple. A dark grey tshirt. Fuck. Van loved Jake in grey. Who the fuck looked good in grey? Jake did. Van watched for several moments waiting to see who Jake would be stuck next to. His favorite was when it was a beautiful girl. He liked watching them flirt with Jake. Jake was so unassuming. He could seduce a room in moments. The best part was that he had no idea. They waited, and waited as other passengers filtered onto the plane, and got settled. Finally the cabin door closed, and Van was thrilled to see that the third person in their row had failed to arrive.

“Sweet.” Jake grinned at Van, but didn't move over into the free space, as they both buckled their belts. As soon as the seatbelt sign went off, Jake unbuckled, and tried to get comfortable. It was sometimes hard being confined in such a small area with his long limbs vying for space. He shifted a few times, and turned to Van. “Do you care if I stretch out on you? I'm going to try to take a nap.” Van galled inside at the question. Do I mind if you stretch your gorgeous body out on me? Do I mind? Only if you don't mind me getting a fucking hardon. “Sure, that's cool.” Van replied. I'm just going to read.” Jake smiled, bunched up the airplane blanket, shoving it under his head, and curled up, his legs landing in Van's lap.

He fell asleep within minutes. Jake was always good at that. Van kind of hated him for it. He kind of hated the way Jake looked when he slept, too. Except that he loved it. He let his whole body relax. Pink lips were slack. Blue eyes closed. Chiseled chest rose and fell gently. Van stayed still, careful not to disturb Jake. He tried to concentrate on his book, but his eyes kept drifting to Jake's face. Those lips. God. He loved kissing Jake. He'd only kissed him once, and he could remember every detail. He'd kissed Noah many times. That, he was familiar with. Kissing Jake was a whole new world. Jake was strong, but gentle all at once. His lips melded against Van's perfectly. He made the sexiest fucking noise Van had ever heard. It came from deep within his throat. He tasted so good. Van had to look away. He really didn't want to get a hardon on the plane. Try explaining that one when he had to deboard.

The flight seemed to last forever. The darkness covered anything that would have been interesting to see outside. Jake slept the whole time, leaving Van without anyone to talk to. It also left his back and neck feeling stiff, as he had avoided movement through the whole six hours they were in the air. Finally, the captain came on the overhead telling them they were about to descend. Van rested his hand on Jake's thigh and shook him softly. “Jake. Hey Jake. We're here. You gotta sit up.”

If Jake looked beautiful while he was sleeping, he looking fucking adorable when he was waking up. He opened his eyes bit by bit, squinting, and sat up slowly, uncurling his body. His hair was an adorable mess. His eyes still drooped with sleep. He smoothed his shirt down, which had hiked up just a bit, revealing an expanse of perfect skin. He smiled a goofy smile at Van as he finally clicked his seatbelt into place. “That was a quick flight.” Van snorted. If only Jake knew.

When they landed, they made a beeline for the nearest Starbucks. Jake took his coffee black, with one sugar. Van got a peppermint mocha. There was a car waiting to take them to their hotel. Van threw himself down on the bed when they had finally arrived in their room. Jake laughed, and tossed his backpack aside, falling down next to him. “I told them we could share a room, because Tori said that if we did, she wouldn't tell anyone, and we could keep the extra money for ourselves.” He laughed. “I knew you'd be okay with that.” Van turned on his side and smiled at him, resisting the urge to scoot in closer, to brush stray strands of hair off of Jake's forehead.

“Mmm. I'm perfectly fine with that” Van replied, smirking. “As long as you don't hog the covers, or snore.” Jake crawled off of the bed, and began digging through his bag.

“Hog the covers? What are you talking about, Van? You're sleeping on the floor.” He laughed, and Van grabbed a nearby pillow, hurling it across the room toward Jake's head.

“Fuck you, Jake. You can sleep on the floor.” Jake laughed again, and made his way towards the bathroom.

“Care if I shower first? I always feel gross after flying.” Van shrugged, and curled up on the bed, exhausted. His defenses were low, and he let his mind drift. Jake naked. Jake naked and wet. Jake naked and wet, and rubbing soap all over his muscled body. Fuck. Heat was pooling in Van's belly, and his cock was getting rock hard. He moved his hand down to the bulge in his jeans and squeezed. He almost started stroking, but he knew how short Jake's showers were. He knew he wouldn't be done in time. He pledged allegiance to the flag four and a half times, and by the time Jake emerged he was sure that he'd gotten his erection down far enough that it couldn't be noticed. For now. Because Jake came out in just a pair of sleep pants that hung way to low on his perfect hips. His hair was damp, and droplets of water rolled down his neck and chest. Fuck, Van just wanted to lick all along that wet skin. He hated the way Jake could do this to him. He needed to get in the shower. Now.

“All done?” Van asked, as he grabbed his bag and made his way toward the bathroom. Jake turned, and damn, every muscle in his body rippled when he moved.

“Yeah man, it's all yours.”

Once in the bathroom, Van undressed quickly, and got into the shower under the relaxing warm water. His hand went immediately to his aching cock. He took it in his hand, stroking slowly. He thought about Jake. Naked. In the next room. Wet. Slick. Dripping. Fuck. He stroked a little more quickly, and let his mind drift to his favorite memory. This one always got him off.

It was November, and it was fucking pouring outside. They'd gone to some trashy bar to see the newest incarnation of Billy's band play. The show was alright. The drinks were good. Billy was friends with the bartender, who kept drinks and shots coming to their table all night long. By the time they were outside hailing a cab, Van and Jake were wasted. Van was staying at Jake's place for a few days while his roommate's boyfriend was in town. They wanted privacy, and lord knows Van didn't want to hear them fucking for hours on end. Van was very aware, as they piled out of the cab, that he was going to feel like shit in the morning. He didn't care. He got to stare at Jake all night.

He loved it when Jake looked like a mess. Perfectly styled hair was now matted to his forehead. The top few buttons of his dress shirt were undone, and his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows. His eyes were glassy. He looked fucking delicious. Van wanted to touch, lick, kiss all over.

They both kicked their shoes off when they entered the cold apartment. Jake went straight to his room. Van sat down on the couch heavily. He was cold, drunk and horny. He wished he was in his own bed so he could just jerk off and pass out. Jake returned a few moments later with a plastic baggie in his hand. He grinned at Van. It was that fucking lopsided grin that he did so perfectly.

“Wanna smoke?” He held up the baggie, and unzipped the seal, digging into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a lighter.

“What?” Van looked at him perplexed. “Is that weed?”

“Of course it's weed, stupid. What else would it be?” Jake pulled an already rolled blunt out of the plastic bag.

“I just never really have before.” Van replied, suddenly bashful, even in his drunken state.

“Are you fucking me?” Jake stared at him in disbelief. I wish, Van thought, and tried to stifle a laugh.

“No, dude, seriously. I tried it once, and I didn't even get high.” He struggled to recall the memory from a drunken night his sophomore year at Carnegie Melon.

“Do you want to try?” Jake looked at him eagerly, like a child showing off a new toy. “I mean, you don't have to. Only if you want.” He almost tripped over his own feet as he made it to the couch, sitting down next to Van.

“Yeah. I mean, why not?” Van had been curious for awhile, just not curious enough that he'd ever pursued anything. If he wanted to try it with anyone, it would be Jake. He knew Jake would keep him safe.

“This shit is really strong.” Jake flicked on his lighter, and touched the flame to the end of the joint, bringing it to his lips and inhaling. Van watched him intently. Fuck. Why was this turning him on? Well, he knew. He'd always loved watching Jake smoke. The newness of it having it be weed, and not just cigarettes, only increased the “bad boy” image. Jake exhaled deeply, and a thick cloud of smoke came from his lips. “I'm going to shotgun it into your mouth, okay?” Van stared at him blankly. Jake laughed. “I'm going to blow it into your mouth, Van. Come here.”

His mouth? Jake. Jake and his mouth, and Van's mouth. Lips. Mouth. Jake. Mmm. Van scooted closer, so they were sitting next to one another on the couch, facing each other; knees touching. “Okay. Just breathe in when I blow it in your mouth, alright?” Jake flicked the lighter again and lit the joint. He brought it to his lips and inhaled deeply before leaning in towards Van. Van readied himself, unsure what to expect. Soon, Jake's lips were touching Van's. Shit, Van was not expecting that. Before he could comprehend that thought through his hazy head, Jake was exhaling into his mouth. Van sucked in a bit too quickly, and began violently coughing, turning his head.

How fucking embarrassing.

Jake chuckled, and rested his hand on Van's shoulder. “You okay?” Van sucked in a deep breath, and tried to concentrate on breathing normally. Within a few moments he was fine, and looked back up at Jake.

“Okay. Let's try again.” Van said, clearing his throat. Jake looked at him skeptically.

“Are you sure? You really don't have to.”

“No. I'm sure. Let's do it.” Jake nodded, and lit the joint again. He inhaled, leaning in close. He smelled like beer and cigarettes, weed and cologne. It overwhelmed Van's senses. Fuck he was beautiful. Jake's lips were on his again, and Jake exhaled gently into Van's mouth. Van took it in like a pro. He tasted it, tasted Jake. Loved it. They pulled apart just slightly, and each exhaled slowly. Their eyes were locked on each other. Jake's lips were their own drug. The touch was not enough.

All Van wanted was more, more, more. He needed more. Not of the drug, of Jake. They sat and stared at one another. Van let his breath go, shakily. He could feel Jake's own warm breath ghosting against his cheek. Suddenly, Jake launched forward and attacked Van's mouth with his own, and fuck. Fuck, fuck. What was happening? Van's heart raced. More than raced. Jake's lips. Jake's lips on his. Jake reached over, setting the joint in an ashtray on the coffee table. His hands tangled in Van's hair. Jake tasted like toothpaste. Beer. Cigarettes. Weed. Fuck. Jake's tongue was forcing its way into Van's mouth. Van parted his lips and allowed him in. He leaned in closer, grabbing fistfuls of Jake's shirt, laying back on the couch, pulling Jake on top of him. Jake grunted, growled, and kissed Van savagely.

Van didn't even have time to think. If he had, he would be wondering how the hell this was happening. Why was it happening? He didn't spend too much time thinking on that. He wanted to be completely in this moment. He thrust his tongue against Jake's, and arched his hips slightly. He never wanted it to end. Jake's hands were scrambling at the hem of Van's shirt. Pushing, tugging, pulling. They pulled away from each other for the shortest of moments, as each pulled their shirts off over their heads, tossing them on the floor.

Their mouths crashed back together. Hands moved lower, lower, gripping, grabbing. Chests heaved. Curse words slipped between kisses. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours. Finally they pulled away. Jake's body was pressed against every part of Van's. They stared at each other with wild eyes. “Fuck” Jake finally said, breathlessly.

“Fuck.” Van repeated. Jake looked fucking gorgeous. His hair was a mess, lips red and slick, eyes shining. Van's cock twitched. Yeah. Fuck. Now what? Jake's expression seemed to be voicing the same thought.

Van knew. He shifted, and nudged Jake until Jake was beneath him. God. He just wanted to kiss all over Jake's neck, his chest, his hips, but this wasn't a time for gentle explorations. This was raw, and unplanned. Van's hands moved deftly to the button of Jake's jeans. He looked up into blue blue eyes, asking permission. Jake nodded, one hand moving to Van's hair momentarily to push his bangs out of his eyes. Van continued his quest. He unbuttoned, and unzipped Jake's jeans, tugging them off his perfect hips. He could hardly contain his heart within his chest(or his cock within his pants for that matter) as he tugged off the final thin layer separating him from Jake's cock.

Then he was seeing it. God, it was big. Hard. So, so hard. How many times had he imagined this moment? He took Jake's pulsing length in his hand, and sank his mouth down onto it. Jake moaned. Van loved that sound. He wanted to make Jake make that sound again and again. He looked up Jake's long body, and saw his head tipped back, lips parted, and fuck. He was about to come in his jeans, right there. He concentrated his tongue, his lips, everything on Jake's cock. He was only distracted when he heard the flick of a lighter. Jake was smoking. Fuck. As if this couldn't get any hotter. Jake exhaled a puff of smoke, and moaned. Van could tell he was getting close. He sped up his pace. He heard the lighter flick again, and he pulled off of Jake's cock, moving up his body. Jake whined. Actually whined. His cock was aching, and he was so, so close.

“Give me a hit.” Van's voice was low, his eyes dark. Jake ground his hips against Van's body, quickly inhaling in again, and pressing his mouth to Van's. Van let the smoke fill his lungs, and exhaled it slowly, kissing Jake hard again, before returning his mouth to Jake's cock to finish him off. He sucked, licked, moved, and gave it his best work. Jake exploded. He moaned loudly, and Van could feel his body shuddering. He kept licking, sucking lightly, all through Jake's orgasm. The milky liquid slipped down his throat, and he swallowed it easily. Finally, several moments later, he pulled away, and crawled back up to Jake's mouth, kissing it lightly. A small smile crept across Jake's lips.

“Fuck. You're good at that.”

Van had laughed softly. Jake had given him a helping hand with his own pleasure. They were both exhausted and struggling at this point. They had finished the joint between them, before passing out. They joked about it. Jake even called it their “delayed college experiment.” It wasn't a joke to Van. He jerked off to memories of that night more times than he could count. He could taste Jake in his mouth. Hear his moans. He remembered those things distinctly, though other parts of the night were a haze.

Back to the current. Van was almost there. Almost, almost, almost. He pumped his hand more quickly, and threw his head back as he finally came. Jake's name slipped from between his lips, and fuck...how loud did he say that? He dried off, and dug through his bag, finding a pair of worn sweats and a tshirt. He just wanted to go to bed. It had been a long day. The night would be difficult too. How could he sleep with Jake's warmth right next to him? Jake's scent would be filling his nostrils. God, he could stay awake all night just listening to Jake breathe. He might.

He took a deep breath, and ran his hands back through damp hair as he left the bathroom. Jake was curled up on his side, and was already sleeping. Van couldn't help but smile when he looked at him. So, so beautiful. He climbed into the bed, and reached over to switch off the bedside lamp. Van lay with his back to Jake's front. The bed was big enough that they both had space, but small enough that Van was close enough to smell the coconut shampoo that Jake had used in the shower. He lay there for several long minutes trying to clear his mind. He was finally drifting off when Jake's voice cut the silence.

“Van?” His voice was low, and he spoke very softly. “You awake?”

“Mmyeah” Van replied, pulling himself out of the sleep he was falling into. “What's up?”

“What were you thinking about?”

Van's stomach jumped nervously, and he shifted slightly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I heard you. I heard you say my name when you were in the shower.” Van's heart jumped into overdrive. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut? He scanned his mind for a lie. How would he explain this away?

“Uhh. Ummm.” Van stalled for time. He had to be able to think of something. Anything. Come on Hansis, pull it together.

Suddenly Jake was closer, and Van felt Jake's chest pressed against his back. His lips were at Van's ear, warm breath ghosting over skin. “Were you...were you thinking about that time? That one night when we smoked?” Van could feel Jake's heart beating. It was beating fast. Jake was nervous.

“Uhh...” Van was suddenly at a crossroads. Tell him or not? Freak him out, or get everything he wanted? Fuck it. “Yeah. Yeah, Jake. I was thinking about that night. That night when we smoked. When I sucked you off. When you jerked me off.” Van's voice got a bit quieter. “When we kissed.” Jake's arm moved to wrap around Van's chest. It moved lower, lower, lower.

“I think about it all the time too. I get off. I think about you sucking my dick.” His hand squeezed Van's cock through his sweats. “You're so good. Your mouth. God.”

Van's mind raced. Was this really happening? 'Just go with it, stupid' he told himself, and let a small moan slip through his lips as Jake touched him.

“Yeah? You liked that? You like my mouth?”

“Fuck yeah.” Jake said breathlessly, and Van could feel Jake's arousal pressed against him. “Maybe...maybe sometime we could smoke again or something.” He pressed a kiss against the back of Van's neck.

“Or something.” Van said, a smirk playing along his lips.

“Something...like this?” Jake's hand slipped beneath Van's pajama bottoms. Van bit back a moan a strong hand wrapped around his dick, and stroked slowly. “Think you can get off again?” His voice was just a whisper against Van's ear. Van had no doubt.

“Yeah. Fuck, Jake.” He licked across his lips as his breath caught in his throat. “Hold on...just...” Van turned around, so they were facing each other, and locked eyes with Jake. He slowly slipped his fingertips, and then his hand, under Jake's sweats, wrapping around his cock. “I want to watch you.” He spoke very quietly. Love and lust dripped from his words simultaneously. He leaned in and pressed his lips softly to Jake's. Jake met him halfway. They kissed slowly; tasting, learning. Van wanted to memorize Jake's mouth. He loved this. He loved it because it was Jake. He loved it more because Jake was sober. Van's free hand moved to Jake's hip, and he traced along the soft skin lazily. Jake's hand tangled in messy blond hair. They continued to stroke one another. Everything felt like slow motion.

Van kissed from Jake's lips down along his jaw, memorizing skin. Jake was strong, and beautiful. Stubble on Jake's jaw burned his own face. He kissed down along Jake's long neck. He could feel him breathing. His heart was pounding. He licked a line across his Adam's apple. He could feel the rumble against his mouth as Jake moaned quietly.

They stroked more quickly now. Van looked into Jake's eyes. They were dark, and beautiful. Van smiled softly, and Jake smiled back as they leaned in to kiss again. Van could feel Jake tensing against him. He was close too. Very close. Their kissing was less gentle now. More passionate. Needy.

“Fuck, Van...so close” Jake's voice was low and gravely. It was enough to push Van over the top. They came at nearly the same time, panting softly. Van bit his bottom lip, and closed his eyes as he rode out his orgasm. He forced himself to open them sooner than he would have liked, so he could watch Jake. Fuck, he was beautiful. His eyes were closed; lips red and slick, cheeks pink. He was a fucking mess. Van loved when Jake looked a mess.

They lay there for a moment after coming down from their orgasms. Van reached over to the floor for his earlier discarded towel. They both quickly slipped out of sweats and underwear, cleaning up. They curled back into bed, and didn't speak for a few moments. Jake smiled that half smile that Van loved, and moved a hand up to stroke his hair. “That was...great.” He leaned in to kiss Van gently. “Sorry. 'Great' is a fucking awful word, and a terrible understatement for how I feel now, but I don't really know how to put it into words.” Van smiled, and moved his body in closer to Jake, just wanting to be close.

“Try? How do you feel?” Van was curious. Curious and terrified. Was he just a way for Jake to get off? A mouth? A hand? He knew in his heart that this wasn't true. He could see it in Jake's eyes.

“I...” Jake paused, looked right into Van's eyes. “I love you. You know I love you. I just...” his eyes twinkled now. “I think I love you a little more now. A lot more. A different more. A new more, maybe?” Van would have laughed at the odd phrasing if he couldn't see the intense sincerity in Jake's eyes. He loved him? He loved him.

“I love you too, Jake.” Jake let go of a breath, as if he'd been holding it inside. “More all the time, if that's possible.” Van kissed his cheek gently. “So. A new more, hm?” Jake nodded and smiled, and Van could see the tiredness in his eyes. Nothing more was said. They lay wrapped in one another, and Van watched as Jake fell asleep. “Took you long enough, Jake” he whispered against Jake's hair, smiling to himself as he drifted into dreams.


End file.
